


True Colours

by ofstormsandwolves



Series: what the heart wants (or, Zoey's Extraordinary Gaylist) [4]
Category: Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Canonical Character Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, F/M, Grief/Mourning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:06:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25151335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ofstormsandwolves/pseuds/ofstormsandwolves
Summary: Joan has a talk with Mitch, and helps Zoey through the hardest night of her life.(Missing scenes from 'Send My Love')
Relationships: Maggie Clarke/Mitch Clarke, Zoey Clarke/Joan
Series: what the heart wants (or, Zoey's Extraordinary Gaylist) [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1793608
Comments: 10
Kudos: 45





	True Colours

“Hi.”

Maggie Clarke looked up in surprise at the voice, smiling slightly when she saw Joan in the doorway. “Joan. Come in.”

Joan stepped into the room, glancing over at Mitch as she did so. “Where’s Mitch’s carer?” she asked with a small frown.

“I sent Howie to get some rest,” Maggie admitted quietly. “He’s done so much for us, and I know he’s run himself ragged the last few days. He could do with half hour to himself.”

“So could you,” Joan responded, giving the other woman a small smile. “Not to be rude, or anything, but you look like you could use some rest. Even if it’s just a twenty minute lie down.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Maggie said, shaking her head. “I mean, I can’t leave Mitch, and I don’t like putting Zoey in that position-”

“I’ll sit with Mitch,” Joan interrupted calmly. “Just, please Maggie, take a few minutes for yourself.”

For a moment, Joan thought the other woman would protest. But then, Maggie sighed.

“I won’t be able to rest,” she said, “but I could do with ten minutes alone. Just to... Just to get my head around everything.”

Smiling, Joan nodded in understanding. “I’ll be here if you need anything.”

Maggie quietly left the room then, and Joan seated herself in the chair that had just been vacated. It was right beside the sofa, not too close but close enough that if Mitch needed help she would simply have to lean forward.

Outside in the foyer, Joan could hear Zoey and Max having a quiet conversation. Forcing herself not to listen in, she instead turned her attention to the man on the sofa.

“Uh, hello, Mitch,” she began awkwardly. “We haven’t been properly introduced. I- I’m Joan. Zoey’s friend. And boss. And, well, her partner.” Joan’s throat suddenly felt painfully dry. “What I’m trying to say is that I’m dating your daughter.” 

She paused then, as it sunk in that this was the first and last time she would ever speak with her partner’s father. She swallowed hard.

“I’m not very good at this,” Joan said then, laughing awkwardly. “Um, I should tell you though, I very much love your daughter. And, and I can understand that this must be very strange for you, and for Maggie, and I know that I’m probably not who you expected Zoey to end up with. Because- Well, I’m a woman, for one. And I’m more than twenty years older. And because I know Max has had feelings for Zoey for quite some time, and he seems to fit in well with you guys. I suppose you probably thought he was the person your daughter would end up with.” She let out a small sigh. “Sometimes I still think that.”

There was silence then, except for Mitch’s wheezing breaths, as Joan tried to gather her thoughts.

“I really hope Zoey and I can make it work. And I want you to know that I will do everything I can to make sure it does. And I like to think Zoey will too. I mean, we’re coders, we’re good at solving problems.” A small smile spread across Joan’s face. “And your daughter’s an excellent coder.” The smile grew prouder as she thought about Zoey leading her team on a daily basis. “In fact, she’s the best coder we have. I mean, I know we’re both biased, but I really believe that. Zoey’s an extraordinary woman, and I hope you’re proud of her. I... I know _I_ am.”

Having said all she wanted to say- and all she could think to say- Joan nodded to herself. It was a bittersweet moment, she supposed. It felt good to tell Mitch how she felt about his daughter, but it felt awful not to be able to have a real conversation with him. Was this how Zoey felt whenever she came to the house? Forced to have one-sided conversations with her father, unable to hear his thoughts or opinions on what she was sharing with him?

Hearing low murmurs of speech, Joan looked over at the doorway in surprise. Zoey and Maggie were there, soft smiles on their faces, and she realised that they’d caught her talking to Mitch. Feeling a little awkward, Joan got to her feet. 

“Hi,” she said, a little wide-eyed as she stared at her partner. “Has Max gone?”

Zoey nodded. “Yeah, he figured there wasn’t much he could do here, so he’s gone home.”

Joan nodded in return, beginning to make her way to the door as she sensed Maggie wanted some space with her husband. A warm smile was on Maggie’s face, and she squeezed Joan’s arm as she passed. Still a little uncertain, Joan followed Zoey from the room.

* * *

Hours later, Joan felt helpless. One minute she was pacing the foyer, giving Zoey time and space to say goodbye to her father. The next, Zoey was calling for help and Howie was rushing into the room to give Mitch more medication. Joan stopped in the doorway, unsure whether to intrude on the family moment. David and Maggie had joined Zoey at Mitch’s bedside, and as much as she wanted to hug her partner, Joan was very aware that now was not the time to be rubbing their new relationship in everyone’s faces. 

But then, Zoey moved away from her dad’s bedside, and Joan instinctively shifted. Her arms were already outstretched before the younger woman reached her, and Zoey tucked herself against her body gratefully. Zoey’s brother gave them a glance, but simply gave a small smile before his attention was pulled back to his father.

For the first time ever, there was a very tiny part of Joan that was grateful she’d missed her mother’s death. It wasn’t that she didn’t care, or that she didn’t wish she could have said goodbye. But the waiting around, the thick and stifling tension that seemed to suffocate them all, was almost unbearable. It felt cruel, for everybody involved, and Joan couldn’t help but feel angry. Angry for Mitch, who had been slowly dying for months. Angry for Maggie, who had staunchly faced Mitch’s illness and had desperately tried to make his remaining time comfortable. Angry for David and Emily, who would have a son who never knew his grandfather. And, most of all, angry for Zoey. Yes, Joan was angry for her partner, for the pain she was going through, for the fact there seemed to be nothing they could really do to make it easier. 

And, in a way, she was angry at herself. She’d been through this before; she should know what to do. But for all the talk, all the efforts to persuade Zoey to take time off work, to not worry about the bake-off or any other projects, Joan felt like she wasn’t really doing anything at all. Anything she tried to say would sound cheap and tactless, and throwing money at the problem clearly wouldn’t fix it. All Joan knew was that it felt like she should be easing Zoey’s suffering, and there was nothing she could do but hug her.

She hoped Zoey liked hugs as much as she seemed to.

* * *

Hours later, the sun was rising and Zoey was stood out in the back garden, just staring at the plants. Joan approached her slowly, arms folded across her chest to keep herself from reaching out to her partner. Considering that Zoey had spent the better part of an hour in the garden alone, it seemed pretty clear that she didn’t want any contact. There was a good chance she didn’t even want to talk, but both Maggie and Joan had quietly agreed that she had been alone long enough and they were starting to worry.

“Hey.” Zoey’s voice was soft, a little distant, and she didn’t look at Joan as she spoke.

“I came to check on you,” Joan said, voice equally soft. “Your mom’s worried about you. I... I’m worried about you.”

Zoey sniffed, but didn’t respond. Joan came to stand beside her partner, taking in the foliage that Mitch and Maggie had tirelessly cultivated. They stood in silence for several long moments, taking in the sunrise over the plants, before a quiet sob interrupted the quiet. Almost immediately Joan looped an arm around her partner’s shoulders, pulling her in for a one-armed hug as the younger woman cried.

“This isn’t fair,” Zoey choked out, voice still quiet but anger evident in her tone. “This isn’t _fair_! He’s gone! He’s gone, and, and, the sun’s coming up like it’s a normal day, but it’s not! The sun shouldn’t be shining!”

“I know,” Joan agreed quietly. “I know.”

She rubbed at her partner’s arm as she lapsed into silence again, desperately racking her brain for something to say to Zoey. The younger woman sobbed again, and Joan hugged her that little bit tighter.

“I- I saw him.”

Zoey’s words startled Joan, and for the first time since wrapping her in a hug, she looked down at her partner. 

“My dad. I... When I left the room... He, he was calling me.” Zoey’s words were halting, stuttering, uncertain. She looked up at Joan with wet eyes, a smile tugging at her lips despite herself. “He was in the sitting room, all dressed up, saying he wanted to talk to me. We danced. True Colours. I... I was happy.” She sniffed. “And then, Mom was crying. And I looked back, and Dad was gone.”

“That’s why you froze,” Joan realised quietly, recalling the way the younger woman stilled under her touch, before leaving the room.

Zoey nodded, staring once more at her mom’s plants. “If I didn't have these powers...”

Joan sighed then. “I’m so sorry, Zoey. I... I know that doesn’t sound like much, but...”

“No, I get it,” Zoey assured, managing a small, sad smile. “And thank you for being here.”

There was a pained look in Joan’s eyes, though. “I wish there was more I could do, though. I don’t like seeing you hurt.” She paused. “Your dad seemed like a great guy.”

“He was.” Zoey answered softly. 

The two women stared back at the plants then, as the early morning sun spread across the garden. Zoey slipped her hand into Joan’s and squeezed. Silently, Joan squeezed back.


End file.
